If you only knew
by Egyptian Princess of 1290 bc
Summary: Mulder looks through one of Scully's journals and finds out a few things, one, she's a poet. BETTER THAN IT SOUNDS! PLS R&R M


**I don't own the X-Files.**

**But I do own this poem, please don't take it I have this thing about my poetry, I don't share it often, and well this is the first time I'm using something from my collection and putting into a story, but I felt it fit, so be gentle, but honest. Please enjoy and tell me what you all think. This takes place sometime in season seven, before the **

**Millennium episode**

Mulder had just arrived at the basement office looking around to find it empty, his partner nowhere in sight. Looking to his watch he saw he was half an hour early and decided to get started on one of the files, hoping to find something interesting for them to do. As he shuffled through a few files that were now on his desk he noticed a small book fall from the edge of the desk to the floor.

He quickly looked around contemplating weather or not to open it. As if god himself spoke and told him, Mulder opened the book and looked through a few of the pages. Most were random notes Scully had made during a few observations over the last few cases, but the last page to have been written in was something far different. In the corner was his name followed by the words _'If You Only Knew' _written in the middle the rest below looked to be a poem and as he read it he wondered if it was meant for him.

_If You Only Knew_

_If I were to tell you I love you,_

_Would you push me away?_

_Or would you hold me close _

_and tell me you felt the same?_

_If I were to tell you what I thought about,_

_Would you call me crazy?_

_Or tell me you felt the same?_

_The same thoughts of us._

_If I were to kiss your lips, _

_Would you deepen it and let me in?_

_Or would you back up in shock?_

_Unsure If I was ok._

_Would you ever consider me yours?_

_And not just as a friend,_

_But something far more,_

_Could you ever look at me, _

_like you look at her? _

_Would you ever talk about me,_

_Like you talk about her?_

_Going on and on about how great she is,_

_Because if you would,_

_I rather not think about what would happen if you would,_

_Because I know you won't,_

_But still if even for a moment,_

_Would you consider me yours?_

_You've made moves on me before, _

_But I've pushed you away,_

_Not because I don't want you,_

_But because I don't want to get hurt,_

_If you could promise me a chance, a try,_

_Just to see if we belong, _

_I would let you kiss me,_

_But I don't want you to hurt me,_

_And I don't want to hurt you,_

_I don't want a kiss and that's it,_

_I want to see where we can take this,_

_I want to see if we belong,_

_If nothing works out,_

_I don't want to loose you as a friend,_

_Because loosing you would be worse than kissing you and running,_

_I will always want to be your friend,_

_I'm scared to let you kiss me, _

_Knowing that if we pursue a relationship,_

_And something goes wrong, _

_I will loose you, and things will never be the same,_

_But_

_If I told you how I felt,_

_Would you tell me you felt the same?_

_Or would you let me live my life knowing I made a mistake?_

_Right now, _

_Do you feel the same?_

_Or is all we're meant to be is friends?_

_I must know when it comes to you,_

_I don't want to loose you, _

_But I also don't want to live my life with you so close,_

_Yet so far,_

_Look into my eyes,_

_Look deep,_

_And tell me the truth,_

_Kill my desire to know what you want,_

_But don't make me suffer much more,_

_Kiss my lips, _

_And agree to see how far it will go,_

_Or give me the same old 'Guy hug',_

_And tell me we're fine the way we are,_

_I won't be mad if things stay the same,_

_I hope by telling you this nothing is ruined,_

_I know that your friendship is more important to me,_

_Than some stupid feelings I have for you._

_So I beg you tell me with a kiss or a hug,_

_If it be the kiss, _

_Let us see how far we can go,_

_If it be the hug, _

_Than let's agree never to talk of this again,_

_What I have for you will always be love,_

_Always the love of a friend,_

_It's your choice to ignite the flame,_

_And choose if the fire of my love should spread. _

_Your choice, _

_A kiss,_

_Or,_

_A hug? _

Mulder closed the book and thought about what it had all meant, if the poem was indeed for him, and he was sure it was, after all his name was written above it, then he wanted to give her his answer right away, but if it wasn't for him, he would end up making a huge fool of himself. There was not much more time to think as Scully walked into the office, she quickly began looking around frantically, Mulder opened a drawer and shoved the book in it before she saw he had it. There was only one way to find out if she had written it for him.

"are you looking for something?" he asked as she panicked moving aside a few files.

"my little journal. It's a small brown leather little thing. I think I lost it and that thing means the world to me." she said turning to her desk searching for it.

Mulder had had enough, he quickly got up from his seat, turned her around and quickly forced his lips against hers. Either he was giving her his answer or proving himself to be a huge idiot. As he pulled away she looked at him oddly and was ready to punch him, he could tell her left hand was forming a fist, maybe he was wrong.

"what the hell was that for?" she asked looking at him as if she could kill him. Good thing looks can't kill, or he would have been a dead man.

"I found this, earlier this morning." he said walking over to his desk and pulled out the small journal. Her evil look fell and he noticed her hand had relaxed. Suddenly an expression passed her face he thought would have been embarrassment.

"you read it, didn't you?" she asked looking to her feet as though a child would who had been caught playing videogames when they should have been doing homework.

"it fell and I just wanted to see what it was, then I found the page. I'm sorry." he said handing her the small book.

"it's ok, I'm glad it's off my chest now." she said pulling him in for another kiss. His arms wrapped around her waist and held her close, this was something he could get used to.


End file.
